trying to get on with life, a new chapter

it has now been 5 weeks since my husband died and a lot has happened in those weeks...

we had his service on Saturday the 28th of January...since he was a Past Exalted Ruler of the Riverside Elk's Lodge, they were so wonderful to put on the service for us and they had a nice luncheon afterwards also...before he passed my husband always used to say that no one would come to his service and boy, were we shocked for him...the place was packed...we could not have asked for a better turn out...it was a very nice service...all of his family came, tons of Elks, teachers and parents from Magnolia School, Press Enterprise people and a lot of personal friends that we have know for a long time...the Press Enterprise sent a photographer and he took some really nice pictures...some of the grandkids came out so wonderful but they are also pretty sad...the photographer at one time found my 8 year old hiding under the food table crying and that just broke my heart...I cannot look at the pictures as they just break my heart...

so anyway, the next day we were just going to stay in jammies all day and take it easy but I needed some new meds at Target and then we came home and had leftovers from the service for dinner and about 6:30 or so, I started feeling not so good...trouble catching my breath and then chest pain, etc.  and it got so bad we had to call the fire dept...ended up being COPD (maybe all of the stress?)...in the ER they found that I did not have enough oxygen in my blood and so was on a Bipap machine for 3 days...was in hospital for a week...

now, 2 weeks later I am struggling to keep oxygen levels up and am on oxygen 24 hours a day and it is driving me crazy...I have a pulmonology appointment tomorrow and I sure am hoping to get good news so I can begin building this new life of mine...

have been back to cooking a little as energy permits...